Operation Twin Pregnancy Mission 7

Attack of the "Mood Swings"

Ok so maybe I have been a little moody..No wait... emotional..no...alright damn it I'm at the end of pregnancy what do you expect happy go lucky Martha Stewart? LOL For the sake of this chapter of Operation Twin pregnancy ...we’ll just call me Expressive.

This far along in a twin pregnancy, I think I have earned the right to bitch and complain about things that bother me. For example a friend of mine called to see how I was doing. I figured I would give her the short and sweet version. "Not too bad. Morning sickness sucks, and my feet are swollen. I’m hanging in there though." (Here’s where the mood swings come in) She had the nerve to say to me, "Oh God you’re gonna start complaining aren’t you? It can’t be that bad."
"Can’t be that bad?"Are you kidding me? And then it happened... I felt as though I had no control over my mouth. It was almost like an out of body experience (which wasn’t that bad cause I couldn’t feel the water balloon that I called feet throbbing if only for a minute). I gave a sinister chuckle, and was going to leave it at that. When all of the sudden it felt like someone had taken the jaws of life, pried my mouth back open and a flash flood of hormones took full control over my body! And this is what I said...

"Well excuse me" Ms. I don’t have any children." Until you have taken your once athletic body and turned it into an amusement park for two little babies, that think it is a thrilling adventure turning your internal organs into their own personal trampoline, get heartburn at the very thought of a glass of water, heartburn so bad that the fire department would declare a flare up, and have your feet swell to the point that your older child calls them water balloons and wants to paint them pretty colors...SHUT UP! You are more than welcome to come over and I can attempt to make you so uncomfortable that you would never want to be pregnant and then you can "try’ to tell me that its not that bad. Honey by the time I am done with you... you won't even want a puppy!"

Needless to say, she didn’t want to have lunch with me. Bummer. But see it doesn’t even take someone to say anything to flip my mood with the speed of a stock car. The littlest things could set me off. For example, in about 5 minutes time, I had several events that under normal circumstances would bother anybody. I, however, did not have "normal circumstances". Without being pregnant with twins, I am hardly what you say normal. Throw in 2 times the hormones and LOOK OUT!

Back to the events....

While brushing my teeth, I squeezed the toothpaste a little harder than what I should have. It was just enough to send it shooting across the mirror. I dropped my deodorant in the sink which cracked the lid, and I knocked over a full bottle of shampoo which nicely coated my bathroom floor. Oh and did I mention this all happened within 5 minutes of each other. I did? Just making sure you were paying attention. Have you ever seen a woman pregnant with twins try to kneel down to clean up shampoo off the floor? Of course not, because it is not possible. I had to flop my butt onto the floor, without landing in the puddle of strawberry scented hell and clean it up best as possible. I did the best I could given the circumstances, however, dripping water onto the floor for the next few days would bring about these mysterious bubbles. "I have NO idea where they came from!"

This ordeal of course sent me into a crying freenzy and all that it really accomplished was making me have to go pee again for the 20th time. Oh well, the bathroom smells nice. Nice enough to give me heartburn!