Operation Twin Pregnancy Mission 2

Being pregnant with twins has taught me a few things about pregnancy and the general public. Through jaw dropping stares and more fat comments I care to admit to, there is one thing I have learned above all....Have Fun With It!!And thus..the games begin...

Now when I was growing up, I was taught, "It's not polite to stare." Apparently...I'm the only one who listened. I love it when I get the stare of pure terror from skinny teenage girls. You know the look...deer in the headlights meets The Exorcists. That's right ladies..my body has been taken over by demonic possession!! And its contagious too...watch it...at any given moment my head may spin around and tiny little hands may pop out of my belly!!!

The stares you get from adults are just as bad. Walking through the store I actually had someone go aconsiderable distance away from me while his eyes were fixed on my belly. For a moment I thought I had on my shirt that read "WARNING: this woman may spontaneously com-bust before your very eyes and take you to the flaming gates of hell right along with her!!" Then Iremembered that I was still wearing the "I'm with stupid shirt". Given that I was by myself I can see how that could have been an interesting sight, so to make it look even better, I began talking to myself and attempted to skip about the store in search of the"little people."

Note to self: skipping + twins = 7.0earthquake. (hopefully the people at Safeway will forget me by the time the twins graduate high school.)

Moving on from evil stares....lets talk about prenatal visits. With my medical plan, each time I go to my appointments I have to give a urine sample to check for elevated protein levels. Now at the start of this pregnancy, that was not a problem. I am now 7 months pregnant with twins and have not seen my toes without the assistance of others for the past two months. This "urine sample business" is getting to be more than a sick joke. I don't think I can handle much more of this. I mean come on, they give me a urine cup the size of a shot glass and expect me to fill 'er up...how in the hell am I supposed to do this? I can't see what I'm aiming for!!! There is a reason they don't give gun permits to blind people... its the same reason I haven't filled one of these cups in 2months....WE CAN'T SEE THE TARGET! (maybe if I set the cup on the floor...nah..it would probably move around too much.)If that nurse keeps laughing at me when I walk out of the bathroom, I just might have to show her how funnyI can be. Oh well until next time...