Operation Twin Pregnancy Mission 3

At this point in my pregnancy I can require a little bit of assistance. This has become a game to those who live with me, take for example...

The other day I was walking down the hallway, when I suddenly had this cramp that went surging through my foot sending my toes in a due north position. This of course sent me semi hopping on one foot while trying to use my arm to balance myself and my other hand to reach my foot (yea right). My dear love David walks by and says,"Whats the matter babe? Cramp in your foot?"All I can muster is itty bitty groans of pure agony and the look of "DUH." What I really wanted to say is,"No jackass, I'm practicing my air guitar so I can enter the local contest.."

After a minute of hyperventilating, and thoughts of beating the man I love, he got the idea and said he would help rub the cramp out of my foot. (I thought,wow, what a guy!) That was until he busted out with my favorite lotion, which he made a point of literally dripping on my foot...one freezing cold drop at a time. Now this is a man that has just taken his life into his own hands...IF I COULD ONLY REACH MY DAMN FEET!!! A task in which he knows I am hardly capable of, in which he thinks is the funniest thing he has ever seen. (Proven by his laughing so hard he's damn near crying)

My 4 year old has also jumped in on the fun. If I say I have to go to the bathroom...Tyler jumps up a runs to bathroom and back at least 2 times to point out how slow I am. Once I finally make it to the bathroom, I have two little sets of hands on the inside that latch onto my bladder to give the kink in the hose affect. Remember how kids are with water balloons? Squeeze it from side to side to make one side big, the other side small? (ya get the idea) So now I am sporadically peeing (which is more than irritating) when Tyler has decided to help me out by hurling himself into bathroom door, which scares me half to death, and has now scared the twins in which case they have clamped on tight and stopped the flow completely. (Makes ya want to have more kids huh) So I threaten Tyler with an inch of his life, waddle my butt out of the bathroom in search of the little terrorist who is now hiding in place he knows I can't reach....under my bed.

I think I'm tough...I'm going in...I can at least grab his leg and pull him out..(HA HA)I am now stuck on the floor, David is not home, the phone is too far away, and Tyler is laughing at me.Remember the commercials..."I've fallen and I can't get up?" Can we say that would be me, however, those little buttons around the old peoples neck that connect to 911 wouldn't work for me...No NO for me it would connect directly to Green Peace to report a beached whale.

At last, I hear the door, its DAVID!!! I'm free.. or so I thought. As I am bellowing "BBBAABBBEEEE!" from the bedroom...I hear a laugh and him say..are you stuck on the floor again? (All I can think is keep it up smart ass) Now me being me, I figured he would come in and help me up and all will be well with my back again. Instead I am greeted with him laughing hysterically, followed by him laying down on the floor"out of sympathy". Twenty minutes have passed and my dear love ones have decided to release me from torture. I am now standing again in which I boldly state that "I am fine, never better".....But what I am really thinking is, "I won't be pregnant forever ya little butt monkeys...and then its on.... I CAN CALMLY WAIT...ITS ONLY A MATTER OF..TIME....